Tuna melt with no tuna

I don't know how or why but I still find myself eating out at lunch. Now my surprise doesn't stem from the fact that I eat lunch, because, seriously, me and food..like ziz. tight. Anyway that surprise is that we have an awesome cook at home and she packs lunches for us. But these days, I open the packed lunch she leaves on the kitchen counter and want to, uhm, how do i say this delicately, well, hurl. Now without getting into too much detail, because it is entirely too early to announce it to the world, yes, all one of you who reads this here blog thingy, I might have , you know, kinda sorta gotten myself a little knocked up. sooooo. since I can't tell the cook that (well, i have no problem telling whoever wonders in here though - yay logic) I just pretend that I forgot the lunch and go out to hunt for grub that is not hurl inducing during lunch time.
I went to grab a sandwich at Java House today (that, is the Nairobi equivalent of, say, if Starbucks and your neighborhood diner had a lovechild) and from the menu the only thing that looked good to me was the tuna melt on a toasted baguette. when my food showed up , dude, i wish i took a picture - it was a baguette lined on both sides with slices of tomato and i could see little slices of avocado underneath and then some sprinkling of melted shredded cheeses on that. so i call the waitress back and say, is this the tuna sandwich? yes madam. where's the tuna? under the avocado madam. so while she's standing there i flip over a tomato slice and the avocado to check. And there, my friends, is where said tuna is painted on. I can see the nooks and crannies (ah, i miss english muffins) sorry, where was I? yes, one can see the bread through the painted on tuna layer. sigh. Is tuna expensive here or something? I was too hungry so I ate it in a huff but now i can add TUNA MELT SANDWICH - with two huge scoops of tuna salad to my list of shit I can't get downtown.

boy, these hormones are really getting out the potty mouth in me. Happy Tuesday.